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Mussels All’Amatriciana

By rcoomber
August 24, 2011 //
0

One of our favorite restaurants in DC, that happens to be just down the street, is a mussel-centric gastropub called Dr. Granville Moore’s.  They have delicious and creative mussels at reasonable prices and an extensive beer collection.  What’s not to love?

They will mix mussels with just about anything, and it all works.  Blue cheese and bacon is they’re most famous combination that doesn’t seem like it would work, but it absolutely does.  They even beat Bobby Flay in a mussel throwdown, though he seems to always lose.  And to those of you who think that a meal consisting of just mussels, a sauce, some wonderful fries and a little bread, you are so wrong it’s sad.  I’m crying you’re so wrong.

We often make mussels at home because it’s so quick, easy and delicious.  To take up the Granville mantle of mussel creativity, we decided to make mussels all’amatriciana.  Amatriciana is an Italian sauce, usually served over bucatini pasta or spaghetti.  Tomato and bacon are the main components.

We started by chopping a 1/2 pound of thick cut bacon and frying it on low till it just barely started to brown.

We got our tomatoes together and sliced an onion.

We threw in the onions and 4 cloves of garlic, and letting the onions sweat and the garlic brown a little.  They cooked for 3-4 minutes as the bacon continued to render its delicious fat.  We diced 3/4′s of the tomatoes, and threw them in the pot, making sure to reserve 1/4 of them as garnish.  A cup of white wine went in as well to ensure there was enough steam to cook the mussels.  We let it all cook down a little for about 10 minutes.  Add salt and pepper to taste.  You won’t have to salt the mussels.  They are already salty.

To prepare the mussels, just make sure you remove the little stringy beard that is sometimes stuck in the crevice of the mussels’ shells.  This is often already removed.  Any mussels that are open and do not close in reaction to you clamping their shells shut are dead, and should not be eaten.  Only cook living mussels, which have the ability to hold their shells shut until you steam them.  Then they die, and their shells open.  Get over it.  We are way above them  on the food chain.  They don’t even have spines.  Or eyes.

The mussels went in next.

We stirred it all together to let the bits of tomato, onion, garlic and bacon to sneak into the mussels’ shells as they opened.  As soon as mussels start to open, they are done.  This only take 2-5 minutes. Stir them a little bit more and put them in a bowl to serve.

Chop the reserved 1/4 of tomatoes and the parsley.  Sprinkle them over the top of the cooked mussels.

Discard any unopened mussels.  They are not good for you.  Serve with a loaf of fresh bread.  Use the bread to soak up extra mussel broth, and use an empty mussel shell as a pincer to pick out the mussel meat from other shells.

Serve with two bowls and no utensils.  One bowl is for the mussels and sauce, and one is to discard the shells.

Enjoy!

Ingredients:

  • 1/2 pound thick cut bacon (regular bacon is fine, if you’re a sucker)
  • 1 onion, sliced
  • 4 cloves of garlic
  • 2 pounds of tomatoes, chopped, 1/4 reserved for garnish
  • 1 cup of white wine
  • 3 pounds of mussels, cleaned, and discard any mussels that won’t close after pressing the shells together
  • 1 loaf of fresh Italian or French bread
  • Bunch of parsley
  • Salt and pepper to taste
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Brass Handrail Restoration — How to Bring Very Tarnished Brass Back to Life

By rcoomber
August 23, 2011 //
5

Another acquisition from Craigslist, our handrail between our first and second floors is one of my favorite features in the house.  The storied history of its acquisition is recorded in this post.

When I bought it, it was “covered in a thick patina,” aka “covered in crap.”

I’m not sure when “thick patina” crosses the line to “thick layer of crap,” but for our handrail, that line was several miles back.  I tried using some Brasso and an old rag, but it was no match.  After half an hour of solid rubbing, I was nowhere.  Now I know how Crystal Harris felt.  Hey-yo!

I had recently refinished a 19th Century sideboard.  While sanding the sideboard’s legs I noticed that when I accidentally sanded its brass feet, the brass got shiny.  So I employed that technique on the handrail, and it worked very well.

Maybe too well.  I used a random orbital sander to do the sanding, which was a little too powerful and left striations in the brass.  Next time I’d sand it by hand.  Wif mentioned that she thought I took off too much of the patina, but I assured here that the patina would slowly return.  I told her this without believing it.  Yet after just a few months, the brand new brackets I bought and the newly sanded brass handrail were weathering nicely.  Sometimes I’m right!  Yeah!

Next problem:  how to attach it to the wall?  The rail came with 6 brackets to hold it up, but those brackets were originally used to hold up my handrail as a footrail in a bar in Southern Virginia.

The 8″ brackets would push the handrail too far out into the stairwell.  8″ is way too far considering our stairwell is not terribly wide.  So I sold the brackets on Ebay for $50.  Win!

Instead I bought 2 center brackets that held the handrail only 4″ out from the wall, and still left 2″ between the handrail and the wall, in compliance with DC Code.  I also bought a couple end posts.  DC Code requires that each end of a handrail return to the wall or a Newell post.  Handrails also must be between 34 inches and 38 inches high, measured from the nose of each stair (our handrail is 36″ high).   The rail is 12′ long, so the four brackets are spaced out every 36″.

As reference, this is how the stairs looked after we bought the house, but before we moved in:

Here’s how they look now:

Before from above:

After:Gratuitous extra shot:

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Welcome Cannibals!

By rcoomber
August 5, 2011 //
0

I really didn’t expect this, but we have a new readership — eaters of human flesh! Previously our site got misdirected hits from a few people who were searching for two men and a woman doing a collective special cuddle.  Some refer to this as “putting a woman on a spit,” which were the search terms used to find our site.  We can see how people find our site via our internal data.  Spooky!  The group special cuddle that these pervs were searching for is also known as an ”Eiffel tower,” or “finger cuffs.”  I just increased our page views for the day ten fold.  Thanks pervs!  The search for “putting a woman on a spit” turned up our site due to my several posts — Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, and Part VI – about spit roasting a suckling pig.

I have no idea why four people  actually clicked through if they were looking for hot man on man on woman action.  It must have been clear from the title of the posts that the subject matter was not what they were looking for.  Maybe they were hungry and sexually excited?  Maybe they like pigs inappropriately?  Who am I to judge?  Or even ask a series of rhetorical questions?

Which brings us to our latest misdirected reader, who apparently found our site through a search for “how to spit roast human.”

Uh, welcome?  Oddly, I think our site is more appropriate for someone trying to figure out how to spit roast a human than someone looking for the devil’s threesome.  Just as long as the cannibal increases the amount of all the ingredients to account for a full sized human.

Enjoy your soylent green!

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Wouldn’t You Like To Be a Pepper?

By rcoomber
August 2, 2011 //
2

Probably not, since if you were a pepper, you’d be overly moist by now.   This is how Tony now learns about new things.

Sticking this banana pepper in his mouth (which is not hot, btw) was the rare circumstance in which it was appropriate.  However, when he stuck a blanket, a toy monkey, and a shirt in his mouth, he learned nothing he didn’t already know.  I guess the rare win encourages him to keep on trying.  Plus, it’s apparently good for him.

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Making an Awesome BLT

By rcoomber
July 22, 2011 //
2

We’ve played with BLTs on the blog before, but we’ve never done a classic (almost) BLT.

There are 5 components to a BLT:  1. tomatoes; 2. bacon; 3. mayonnaise; 4. Lettuce; and 5. bread.  The first three are the keys to superior BLTs.

1.  Thick Slices of Ripe Tomatoes

We got our tomato from our garden.  We were very patient and waited till it was perfectly ripe to pick it.  It was our inspiration.   To prepare the tomato, simply cut out the core, cut off either end a 1/4 inch in, and slice very thick slices from the rest of the tomato.   Add a little salt to the tomato to make sure its flavor shines through.
2.  Thick Sliced Bacon (you will never feel the same about wimpy, thin bacon ever again)
Cook the bacon on low to get it nice and crispy.  It takes a little extra time, but I find crispy bacon is worth the wait.
3.  Mayonnaise, and Plenty of It
To make the mayonnaise, take one egg and combine it in a blender with a teaspoon or two of Dijon mustard and a teaspoon of lemon juice.  Add a little salt and anything else you may want (garlic, anchovies, hot pepper flakes etc.).  Turn on the blender and add a cup of olive oil in a drizzle as the machine blends to let the oil and other ingredients emulsify and get thick.  Taste for seasoning, and add more salt as needed.
4.  Lettuce.  We didn’t really use “L,” or “lettuce” for our BLT, since we didn’t have any.  Instead we substituted shredded cabbage.  It worked well, and provided a nice crunch.
5.  Bread.  Last step was the bread.  I sliced pieces from a baguette at an angle, rubbed them with some garlic, a little olive oil, a little salt and pepper, and grilled them on a grill pan.
The finished product open faced:
And closed:
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How To Make Frozen Pizza Pretty Awesome

By rcoomber
July 19, 2011 //
0

Ever since we had a Bubus, we go to our go-to meals more often.  The easiest of all of our go-tos is the frozen pizza.  It feed both of us, it’s ready in 20 minutes, and it’s a $5 dinner for two if you get it on sale.

But sometimes it’s a little boring, or simply doesn’t have enough toppings.  Our solution?  Add toppings.  Most recently we chopped up a few banana peppers and a tomato, along with some chopped herbs — a handful of parsley and basil — thrown on at the end.  It all came from our garden.  ’Cept the overly processed frozen pizza, obvi.

We started out with a simple frozen peperoni pizza (we usually look for one that’s 25 ozs or more, or else it’s not enough for the two of us).

Next I added the tomato and peppers.  I waited to chop and add the herbs till after the pizza and toppings were cooked so they kept their bright, fresh flavors.  Be sure to add some salt and pepper to the raw veggies 4 flavr.

On a “real” pizza, which takes only 8-12 minutes, you generally want to cook toppings like raw vegetables before putting them on top of the pizza.  But a frozen pizza cooks for 20-25 minutes, so the veggies get cooked plenty.  Again, after it’s cooked, chop up the herbs and throw them on top.

Finished product:

Nearly as easy as a standard frozen pizza, but with a little more flavor, and a little healthier.  Win-win.

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Why I Garden

By rcoomber
July 15, 2011 //
3

This is why I participate in our community garden.  I got all this wonderful produce directly from my Garden, and it was all free, and available just steps from our house.

Well, free is a loose word.  The tomato plants were $3.00 each.  The basil was another $2.50.   The thyme was  a “volunteer” (it returned from having been planted last year).  Then Garden dues were another $60.

Then there’s the time investment.  Just to maintain our plot is probably about 30 hours.  Plus there’s all the other legal and organizational work I’ve done for the Garden, which is probably nearing 100 hours this year.

So besides all that, free.

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Spit Roasting a Pig II — To Build a Fire

By rcoomber
July 7, 2011 //
9

This post was one in a series.  The other parts are available here:   Part I, Part III, Part IV, Part V, and Part VI.

To build a fire for a pig roast, you’ll need to start a couple hours in advance of when you plan to begin to roast the pig.  You could go three ways with this portion:  build a fire out of purely coal-coals; build a fire from wood; or a combination thereof.  We decided to do a combination.

You’ll need a large, flat, dry, and not too windy place to build your fire.  Our planned location had a couple inches of water in it, so I laid down a bunch of flat rocks, so we could build the fire on top of them.  The idea is to get the fire burning till all you’re left with is coals.  If you have actual flames , the flames will burn your pig, and that’s bad.  Since you’re trying to cook through a foot or so of meat, low heat and slow cooking — “low and slow” — are the words of the game.

Here’s how our pit looked:

Then we made a little teepee with dry, thin kindling.  We then filled the middle of the teepee with crumpled newspaper and cardboard.

1 Match Was All It Took -- Patented Mr. Janes/Mr. Schreiber Cub Scout Technique

Then we hit our first snag/disaster.  It was a snag-zaster.  The rocks I used to raise the pit above the water were, in fact, sandstone, which explode when heated.

Whoops!  I really should have known, especially since one of my friends asked, “Hey Bob, those aren’t exploding rocks that you put under there, are they?”

“Nope,” I answered confidently, before unconfidently adding, “Uh, yeah, no.  I don’t think so. . . “

Then the rocks started exploding.  I didn’t think it was too bad at first.  After eight or nine exploded sending hot rock-shrapnel through the yard, a thorough dousing was in order . . .
then some rock removal . . .

then tossing the bad rocks . . .

and then we could start over.  Instead of our exploding hot stone base, we decided to go with the safer, smarter log base for attempt 2.

Another teepee, another 1 match wonder, and we were restarted.

Eventually, we figured that we would build the larger, flaming fire on one side of the pit, and then place the pig across the other side of the pit.  When the coal-coals and wood-coals stopped flaming, we’d rake them to the pig-side of the pit.  We placed an oven thermometer alongside the pig, so we knew when the fire got too hot or too cold (we sought to roast it at about 275F).

And the fire was ready!  Next step, stuffing the pig!  Get ready buddy.

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Anniversary Present — Vintage Flashcards

By rcoomber
July 1, 2011 //
3

My inspiration for this gift came from Design Sponge.  It’s also been written about on Apartment Therapy here, here, and here.

My original plan was to spell out “Happy Anniversary,” or something using the vintage flashcards, have them matted at Frame of Mine, our local frame store in DC, and buy a frame on Amazon.  I have taken this approach to getting stuff framed and matted before, and before, and a few other times I haven’t written about yet.  We always need more decoration in our house, and personal, vintage, and beautiful decorations are our favorite.

But first, I had to find flash cards.  So I went to my favorite place for obscure and difficult to find stuff that was likely taken from someone’s parents’ basement:  Ebay.  Trawling through my options, I noticed the vintage flashcards in English were pretty expensive, but those in foreign languages were not.   Since Wif and I met while we were foreign language teachers — her French and me Latin — I decided to buy the relatively affordable and more personal French and Latin flashcards instead of the more expensive and less creative English flashcards.

Since the flashcards I bought were relatively small, and since each box contained hundreds of cards, I knew I had to say more than just “Happy Anniversary.”  Eventually, inspiration struck.

I would spell out a nursery rhyme, or rather an elementary school taunt:  ”First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage,” side by side in French and in Latin.  I would have Frame of Mine cut out a bunch of windows in a mat, and mount the cards behind the windows.  It would be work intensive, but worth it.

In order to figure out what sized frame I needed, I first had to figure out how many words I would use to spell out the nursery rhyme/taunt.  That meant going through hundreds of French and Latin flash cards to find the words “first,” “come,” “love,” “then,” “come,” “marriage,” “then,” “come,” “baby,” “in,” “a,” “baby,” and “carriage.”

I pared down the list because I didn’t have to repeat “come,” and I didn’t have to repeat “baby” before “carriage.”  I would be lucky to find carriage in either language.  And I knew I wouldn’t be able to find “a” among the Latin flashcards, because Latin doesn’t use articles.    So I had to find about 9 words in each language.

I then spent about 4 hours going through each French and Latin flashcard to find the appropriate words, and to make sure my count of 9 words was correct.  I had to stretch for some of them.  I used the Latin word for “heir” instead of “baby” on the Latin side, and the French word for “car” instead of “carriage” on the French side, but the idea would still be pretty clear.  So 9 words were confirmed.

Reenactment Staged for Clarity and Drama

Since each card was 1.5″ tall, I figured I would need an 18″ tall frame to fit all 9 words from top to bottom with some space in between each.  The cards were 3.5″ wide, side by side equals 7″ wide, so a 9″ wide frame was perfect.

Amazon, as usual, did not disappoint.  I found this 9″ x 18″ distressed maple frame for just $9.  I’m not sure why it’s so much more expensive now.

Next, Bubus and I went to Frame of Mine to have them create some mats.  The woman there convinced me that making so many windows in a mat would leave the mat weak, and prone to ripping.  Instead, she found a perfect dark greenish-grayish backing to mount the cards on.   She then cut two long vertical windows into an  antique white mat, which matched the color of the cards.  She carefully mounted each card in a straight lines with double sided tape, and $32 later, the gift was almost ready.

I popped the mats and cards into the distressed maple frame, which arrived nearly in time, and the end results are pretty sweet:

But I didn’t really think that shot did it justice.  I wanted a more “arty” shot.  But since we haven’t determined where the cards will hang yet, I had to find a place where there was already something in the wall so I wouldn’t have to purposelessly nail a hole in a wall just for the blog.  Sorry, dear readers.  My love of you does not outweigh my hatred of spackling.  So I took down some of the maps we have next to a door and I came up with this:

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DC Residents: Vote for Sekou Biddle TOMORROW!

By rcoomber
April 25, 2011 //
0

Quick political note – there is a special election for the Council Member At Large seat in the DC Council, vacated by Kwame “Fully Loaded” Brown during the last election. We are endorsing Sekou Biddle for this seat! He’s a former educator with a lot of experience in education – this means a lot to us as former teachers. For those of you who like Fenty, he reminds me a bit of Fenty – young, energetic, progressive, and willing to look at ideas from various sides rather than take a partisan approach. For those of you who don’t like Fenty, he strikes me as considerably more thoughtful than Fenty.

He came to our house at the end of February to meet our neighbors, and was great at actually answering questions, listening to folks, and not just saying what people want to hear.

Sekou Biddle at our house for a meet & greet

Here is me photobombing Sekou Biddle.

Sekou Biddle also helped get the “DC 41″ out of jail, including our  friend Maceo Thomas. He was part of the fight to represent DC once Congress took away our rights in how we spend our own money. He himself was also arrested (the list is posted here at the DCist). You’ll note that some other well-known candidates for the At-Large seat are not on this list. It means a lot that he was part of the fight for DC rights, and in debates he has indicated he will continue to fight and support DC residents as we battle for full citizenship rights.

I think a vote for Sekou Biddle is a vote for the future of DC – he’s definitely someone who, with a bit more experience, would make a principled and thoughtful council chair or even mayor. You can learn more about Sekou Biddle at his website. To find out where you can vote this Tuesday, April 26th and more about the special election, check out the DC Board of Elections website. Remember that since this is a special election, every vote really does count.

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