We had a lovely law school friend (this often confuses people when I talk about my law school friends, since I did not attend law school – Hub did but they’re my friends too!) come over to dinner last night. Bub was his (as of late) fussy self, but went to bed at his usual time which allowed us to catch up over dinner.
As Hub and I traded off Bub bedtime duty and dinner, she remarked that we make it “all look so easy,” and asked, “Is this living the dream?” We laughed but then both said in unison, “Pretty much.”
It’s easy to forget how great we have it. We have a lovely home (thanks to countless hours of Hub’s labor), a sweet and healthy child, good jobs, and we eat awesome food every night. I am a huge culprit of thinking the grass is greener, that other people must have figured it out better, or that others around us are doing a better job than we are.
Is it perfect? Of course not. We argue a lot (who changed the last diaper, who did the dishes, who took care of the baby more, who’s tired – usually I’m the one complaining about that too much), we never seem to get all the items on our to-do list done, and the house is usually not all that clean. I’d love to vacuum every day but by the time the dishes are washed and bags packed for the next day, I have to motivate myself just to take a shower before bed.
I think the price we pay for all that love is being a little more tired and a little more grumpy. It seems counter-intuitive that love would make you tired, but it does. Love can mean changing the diaper, shopping for groceries, washing the dishes, fixing the dryer vent, watering the garden, and walking the dog. In fact, to me that’s what true love is – doing all of those things for your family and not complaining – or at least trying not to complain.
I’m trying to do everything out of love – working at my job, cleaning up around the house, taking care of the Bub. If I find the love in my heart as I do these things, then I really do feel like I’m livin’ the dream.
A gratuitous picture of Bub and Uncle Jack. I love this one of him – I think his sweet personality really shines through in it.
“if you cram your life with the things you love, soon you’ll find that there isn’t much room for things you don’t love” – for gretchen rubin’s happiness lecture i saw in january and i think she’s right. just keep on cramming, you guys have a great thing going!
Aw, you’ve made me tear up. We have discussions about loving the life we’ve chosen, the life we’ve made. Could things be better? Here and there, yes. But when we take a step back (far enough back that you can’t see the dust bunnies or the crushed cheerios) and look at the big picture we realize we’re not lacking much. Thank you for reminding me of that.
Thanks! Yes, the dust bunnies can distract from the big picture sometimes. And thanks for watering our tomatoes!